Doubling

Doubling Dublin. Table for two?

All our sensations, emotions and cognitive processes can be loosely lumped into two categories. Our body of language acknowledges this by providing us with two distinct words, thoughts and feelings. Of late I find myself straddling the divide between thoughts and feelings, not being able to decipher whether my actions or words are the result of thoughts or feelings. And so I wonder if there is a word that is able to bridge this divide, a table for two where both can sit down to enjoy a nice slice of carrot cake. Off the cuff, the most fitting word that I have in my linguistic warehouse would be 'Confused'. For a person who prides himself on being rational, this state of 'confusion' is distressing. And what is more distressing is the discovery that this process has made; that at my core, I believe in feelings before thoughts, conscience over cognition. Alas, the beast has a soul. I am beginning to think (I suppose thinkfeel should be the more appropriate word at this stage, until the catharsis is complete or the process reversed) that years of education and an emphasis on thinking has made us worse off. I blame the industrial revolution for perpetuating this process (although this phenomena has earlier roots), for imbuing in our education system, the paramount need for utility. The Utility of being saved. And one can only arrive at utility through a reasoned process; through a rigorous study of literal words, instructions and an adherence to principles as truths. What exactly is the truth? Is the truth in the words that form our instructions, our texts, our scripts, our bibles of modernity? Or is the truth in the feeling that tells us the right from the wrong, that tells us this is moral and that is immoral? At this point, I must confess my confusion and admit that I don't know (thinkfeel).

'The religious Reformation trained men to subordinate their lives to more remote ends. Instead of surrendering to the moment, they were taught to learn objective reasoning, consistency and pragmatic behavior.'
~The End of Reason, Max Horkheimer