Assume

"Why do you think you are missing something you never had?"

"What is a secret wish?"
"It is what you want but cannot ask," said Amah.
"Why can't I ask?"
This is because... because if you ask it... it is no longer a wish but a selfish desire," said Amah. "Haven't I taught you - that it is wrong to think of your own needs..."
~Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club