Enlightened

Almost a eureka moment, almost. 

"I said that what you find isn't necessarily what you want. Let's take love. It isn't like we thought it would be beforehand. Can we all agree on that? Better, worse, longer, shorter, overrated, understated but not the same. Also different for different people. But that's something you only learn slowly: What love is like for you. How much of it you've got. What you'll give up for it. How it lives, How it dies... And another thing. Beforehand, you think: When I grow up I'll love someone, and I hope it goes right, but if it goes wrong I'll love another person and if that goes wrong I'll love another person. Always assuming you can find these people in the first place and that they'll let you love them. What you expect is that love or the ability to love, is always there, waiting. But I don't think that love-and life- are like that. You can't make someone love someone and you can't, in my experience, make yourself stop loving someone. In fact, if you want to divide people up in the matter of live, I'd suggest doing it this way: some people are fortunate, or unfortunate enough to love several people, either one after the other or overlapping; while other people are fortunate or unfortunate enough to be able to love only once in their life. They love once and whatever happens, it doesn't go away. Some people can only do it once. I've come to realise that I'm one of these."
~Julian Barnes, Love, etc.